if you don’t want your life to be ‘messed up’, don’t fool around with those who have messed up theirs.
 
it is a peculiarity of human relationships that it is virtually impossible for one individual to have a lasting positive influence upon members of a group of negative thinkers (or one negative individual in particular). usually, it works the other way. you cannot maintain a positive, productive attitude if you spend all your time with negative people. those who have wrecked their own lives (and usually blame their misfortune on others) are not the kind of people who will help you achieve success in your own life.
 
spend your time with positive, ambitious people who have a plan for their lives. you will find that their optimism is infectious.
 
this whole thing with voldemort (i can’t decide on calling her voldemort or voldemort’s wife) is reeeeally upsetting.  like, it’s bad.  i can’t stop seeing our emails back and forth to each other in my head.  i can’t help but get sooo angry at how she twists words and truths.  i can’t help wondering if i’d just phrased something different, would she understand the craziness that spews out of her mouth.  she is infuriating.  and this is why we stopped talking to her in the first place.  i told her not to give us a guilt trip for not seeing our nephews.  seriously, my email back to her was like four lines.  she responds every time with so much crap in her defense.  she told me to stop blaming other people for my misery.  she told me that i needed therapy and medication.  ummm…. what?!  way to go from point a to point purple, crazy lady.  blah.
 
i need her explained to me.  by a professional.  i need someone to explain every outburst of hers.  i need someone to say “this sentence is her deflecting, this sentence describes a person who is blahblahblah.”  if i let it go long enough, it consumes me.  i would suggest group therapy, but i don’t really want to like her.  ever. 
 
it’s more than a fight, though.  it’s a behavior.  always this behavior with voldemort.  for years and years and years.  even when we’re not fighting, there’s this undercurrent of tension between us.  like walking on rocks floating on electrified lava.  if it weren’t for the boys, we would never talk to her.
 
i shouldn’t have responded to her email.  dammit.  i should have just ignored her.  dammit.
 
if you don’t want your life to be ‘messed up’, don’t fool around with those who have messed up theirs.